It Happened…
I was twelve years old visiting my paternal family in a beach town, playing with my siblings and cousins, enjoying my childhood.
It Happened…
I was fourteen years old and studying eight grade. Playing volleyball, going camping with friends.
It Happened…
I was eighteen years old and I was attending my last volleyball national tournament.
It Happened…
I was twenty-two years old and had just graduated from College. I was planning to start graduate school.
It was…
my paternal uncle, we were visiting his house on a vacation. I thought it was my fault, I was afraid of my dad.
It was…
my teacher, I thought I was in love, but I was really looking for a paternal figure.
It was…
my volleyball coach of 5 years, he called me to his room to discuss the strategy for the game that night, he started giving me a massage. I thought it was my fault for letting him touch me.
It was…
my maternal uncle who was a university professor. I went to his house because he was helping me with my graduate school applications.
It Made Me Feel…
guilty, ashamed, dirty, mature for my age, alone. I became very aggressive, irritable, prepotent, perfectionist. I closed up and built walls around myself. I didn’t like to feel vulnerable with anyone. I never cried. I repressed my emotions.
I Told…
nobody. It took me 31 years to tell someone. First I told my son’s counselor at school she told me to seek professional help. Then I used the helpline at RAINN, they told me the same. So, I made an appointment with my son’s therapist, but he didn’t know I was going to talk about myself. Later I told my husband, my parents, my siblings, close friends and some extended family members. Their reactions were all over the place, some offered me support, others didn’t and they got in my abuser’s side. Then I told EVERYONE, I wrote and published a memoir, where I talk about the abuse and my first year of therapy. I feel is really important to be able to tell your story, because the secrecy only benefits the abuser.
I Survived…
what helped me to heal was old fashion therapy and the support of my husband, kids, siblings, parents and close friends. You need your support system to heal.
I dream…
of a society that talks freely about childhood sexual abuse, and protects our children. A judicial system that believes the victims and where this crime does not have a statute of limitations. I am starting a MSW at the University of Houston in the fall of 2018. I also volunteer at a Children Advocacy Center near my house. I give talks about my experience as a survivor and about prevention.
I want…
other survivors to know that I believe them, that what happened to them does not define them. That each one of you can write the final of your own story. I want to tell people that has not been affected by abuse that chances are that they know someone who has, and maybe that person has not disclose it yet. Be kind to everyone.
