It Happened …
It happened to my daughter while I was overseas protecting this country. My daughter was 4, and just beginning school. The last time it happened she was 9.
It Was …
It was my daughter’s great uncle on her father’s side who did the unthinkable. Her great aunt offered to help care for my daughter while I trained, and then deployed overseas. He had full access to my daughter for almost a year, or more. How he got her not to tell was her age. He didn’t threaten her. My daughter was just really young at the time, and didn’t know that what he was doing to her was wrong.
When my daughter finally disclosed to me what he was doing she was 9. He molested her again, but by this time I had talked to her about what sexual abuse was, and if someone was doing that to her to tell. She told a friend of mine, and I took action when I found out.
It Made Me Feel…
After my daughter finally got to tell an investigator, and a social worker she changed. She laid in a closet for almost a week, and cried. I cried with her, and assured her that he will never hurt her again.
For me, it made me very untrusting of other adults. I went through a lot of anger because this monster hurt my baby. It made me feel helpless because this is not something that can be fixed.
I Told…
My daughter told my friend because she was afraid I would be mad at her. I assured my daughter I was not angry at her, and that it was not her fault.
I believed my daughter. Children do not just make up the details my daughter told me. I know from being sexually abused myself as a child that believing her would make a world of difference in her healing process.
I Survived…
What has helped me heal as the mother of a sexually abused child, is being an advocate, and telling our story. Every story matters.
I Dream…
I dream of the day when children will be believed without question. When Social workers will be properly trained at dealing with Sexual abuse disclosures, and not just unfound them because their case load is to much.
I dream of a justice system that will serve justice on these predators.
I Want…
I want other survivors, and parent’s of sexually abused children to know that you can, and will get through it. You have to be a voice for your child as a parent. Don’t stop fighting for justice for your child if no one will listen. We need to bring more awareness to this unthinkable crime.
For those who have not been affected by childhood sexual abuse; my best advice is to educate yourself. Don’t be like me, and wait. I say, “if I had known then, what I know now.”
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